How to feel more confident and connected when your brain moves faster than your mouth
If you’ve ever launched into a story only to realize halfway through that your listener looks totally lost or worse, has zoned out, you’re not alone. Fast, tangential speaking is common for people with ADHD and executive functioning challenges. Your brain is moving fast, connecting dots, and firing off ideas. But your listener? They might still be trying to catch the first one.
This blog post is for you if you:
- Have ever been told you talk “too fast” or “go off on tangents”
- Struggle to tell a story or explain something clearly
- Have brilliant ideas but trouble sharing them in a way others understand
- Want to communicate with more impact while still sounding like you
Let’s talk about how to communicate more clearly and confidently without dimming your spark.
Start by Thinking About Your Communication Heroes
Before jumping into tips and tricks, let’s take a moment to reflect.
Who are the communicators you admire most?
They could be public figures, podcast hosts, coworkers, family members, or even characters from books or movies.
Think about:
- What do you like about how they speak?
- How do they make you feel when they talk?
- Are they expressive? Calm? Funny? Direct?
- Do they use stories, metaphors, or visual language?
This isn’t about copying someone else’s style. It’s about getting curious about what you value in communication so you can build your own authentic voice.
Make a short list of 2–3 people you enjoy listening to and write down a few qualities you admire in their communication.
For example:
- “Brené Brown: calm, clear, uses stories”
- “My friend Josh: animated, funny, passionate”
- “Neil deGrasse Tyson: thoughtful, uses metaphors, pauses well”
These qualities can serve as inspiration for how you want to show up when you speak, especially when your brain is moving quickly.
Why Fast, Tangential Speaking Happens
Let’s normalize this for a moment. People with executive functioning differences, especially ADHD, often have:
- High-speed processing: You’re making connections quickly, often in nonlinear ways.
- Verbal impulsivity: You speak as you think, which can mean jumping ahead or switching topics.
- Working memory challenges: You might lose your train of thought mid-sentence and detour somewhere unexpected.
- Difficulty pacing: You may struggle to monitor how much you’ve said or how fast you’re saying it.
All of this is part of how your brain functions. It doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It means you may need to build in external supports or habits that help your communication land more clearly.
Grounding Yourself Physically: Posture and Presence
When your thoughts are racing, grounding yourself in your body can help you slow down and speak with more confidence.
Try This: Confident Posture Reset
- Sit or stand with your feet flat and spine tall.
- Relax your shoulders and let your arms rest loosely.
- Imagine a string gently lifting the crown of your head.
- Breathe in deeply and exhale slowly.
- Feel your feet on the ground, literally.
This isn’t about looking perfect. It’s about getting present. When your body feels anchored, your words often follow.
Why it works:
Grounding your body helps calm your nervous system, which supports executive functions like attention, self-monitoring, and self-regulation. Plus, confident posture cues your brain (and your listener’s brain) that what you’re saying matters.
Using Pauses and Breaths as Your Superpower
Fast talkers often don’t realize they’re going fast. They may not pause between ideas or even between sentences. But pauses are powerful.
They give your listener time to catch up.
They give you a moment to choose your next words.
They give your ideas room to breathe.
Simple Ways to Add Pauses
- Take a full breath between major points.
- Use punctuation in your speech: commas = short pause, periods = longer pause.
- Try counting silently to 2 before jumping into your next thought.
- Let silence sit for a moment. It’s not awkward, it’s human.
Practice prompt:
“Let me think about how to explain this…” (pause)
“What I mean is…” (pause)
“Here’s the main idea…” (pause)
You don’t have to slow everything down to a crawl. Just a few intentional pauses can make a big difference in clarity and connection.
Strategy: Create a Mini Communication Plan
You don’t need to script every conversation, but having a loose plan can help when you’re prone to tangents.
Try this planning structure:
1. What’s the point?
What’s the one main idea you want to share?
2. What’s your anchor?
What’s one phrase or sentence that sums it up? (You can return to this if you drift.)
3. What’s your path?
What are 2–3 things you want to say to support your main point?
4. What’s your closer?
How do you want to wrap it up or invite a response?
Example:
Main point: I want to explain why I think we need a new system for tracking tasks.
Anchor: “Right now, I don’t think the current system supports how our brains work.”
Supporting points:
- It’s hard to see what’s urgent.
- We forget to check it.
- It doesn’t break things down enough.
Closer: “I’d love to explore some alternatives that could work better for us.”
Use sticky notes, a one-liner in your phone, or just a moment of quiet before you speak to map this out. The goal isn’t perfection, it’s intention.
Appreciating Communication Variety
Let’s take a moment to celebrate something important: there’s no one right way to communicate.
Sometimes, a meandering, tangential conversation is exactly what we need. It can feel spontaneous, creative, and deeply connecting, like following a trail of breadcrumbs into unexpected laughter, insight, or shared memory. These kinds of conversations often bring joy, especially with people who can follow your leaps and loops with curiosity instead of confusion.
Other times, we want to be more clear and concise. Maybe we’re giving feedback at work, sharing an idea in a meeting, or trying to explain how we feel in a relationship. In those moments, it helps to feel more grounded and deliberate in how we speak. And that’s okay, too.
Both are valid. Both are useful. And both are part of being a flexible communicator.
There’s real power in being able to shift your style to match the moment, whether that means letting your thoughts wander with a friend on a walk or pausing to clearly express your needs in a tough conversation.
Neuroaffirming insight:
Many people with ADHD or executive functioning differences feel most natural in nonlinear, fast-paced dialogue. That doesn’t make it “wrong,” just different. The goal isn’t to eliminate tangents. It’s to add tools for clarity when you want them.”
So, rather than trying to “fix” your natural style, think of it like expanding your range. You’re not giving up your spark, you’re gaining the ability to aim it with more intention when it matters most.
Practice Makes Progress (Not Perfection)
If you’re working on changing your communication habits, don’t expect instant transformation. Communicating with more clarity, intention, and pacing takes practice and experimentation.
Here’s a low-pressure way to build a routine:
Weekly Practice Plan
Step 1: Pick a low-stakes situation.
This could be a team meeting, a phone call with a friend, or even talking to yourself while doing dishes.
Step 2: Choose one focus area.
Just one. For example:
- Slowing down
- Staying on topic
- Using pauses
- Wrapping up more clearly
Step 3: Reflect after.
What felt better? What felt awkward? What surprised you?
Step 4: Adjust and try again.
Each week, you can tweak your approach based on what you learned. Over time, small changes stack up.
Bonus tip:
You can even record yourself in voice notes or video messages to get a sense of your pace and clarity, and practice slowing down or structuring your message better.
Reflecting on What’s Working (and What’s Getting in the Way)
Part of making progress is noticing your own patterns. These reflection prompts can help:
- When do I feel most clear and grounded when I speak?
- What kinds of settings or people bring out my tangents?
- When have I communicated something in a way I felt proud of?
- What do I tend to do when I get excited or nervous while speaking?
- What’s one small shift that might help me communicate more effectively?
These questions aren’t about self-criticism. They’re about self-awareness. Noticing your patterns gives you choices. And more choices = more confidence.
Let Go of the Shame Around “Messy” Communication
You might carry past feedback that you’re “too much,” “hard to follow,” or “scatterbrained.” Maybe you’ve been interrupted, ignored, or misunderstood, and it stung.
Let’s be clear: your ideas are not too much. Your brain is not broken. And your communication style isn’t a flaw, it’s just a pattern that might need some support to land more clearly.
There is nothing wrong with having a fast or nonlinear brain. In fact, your brain is likely seeing connections others miss, drawing insights quickly, and generating original ideas. That’s fabulous.
You don’t need to fundamentally change who you are.
But you can build supports, posture, pauses, reflection, and planning to help your voice come through more clearly and confidently.
Recap: Tiny Shifts for Tangential Speakers
Here’s a quick summary of the most helpful strategies:
- Reflect on communicators you admire to build your own style
- Ground your body with posture and breath before you speak
- Use deliberate pauses to pace your ideas
- Practice structuring what you want to say with a simple outline
- Choose one small area to practice each week
- Reflect, adjust, and try again without judgment
- Remember: messy doesn’t mean ineffective. You’re learning.
Final Thoughts
Communicating as a fast, tangential thinker doesn’t have to be a liability. With a little intention and support, it can become a strength.
Your ideas are valuable. Your stories matter. And you deserve to feel heard, just as much as anyone else.
So the next time you find yourself racing through a sentence or detouring into an unexpected story, pause. Breathe. Anchor yourself. You’re not off track, you’re just finding your way back to center.
🧠 Your brain is fast.
💬 Your words can still be clear.
❤️ And your voice is worth hearing.
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