Most of us are walking around carrying far more than we were designed to hold. Deadlines, appointments, errands, chores, decisions, expectations, the buzzing in the back of our minds that never seems to stop. And if you live with ADHD or executive functioning challenges, you might feel like your mental load is even heavier because you’re not only trying to keep up with the tasks themselves, but also the systems that keep them organized.

Here’s the truth: you don’t have to carry it all.
There’s an art to letting go, intentionally deciding what doesn’t deserve your energy. This isn’t about giving up or being careless. It’s about recognizing that your time, attention, and emotional bandwidth are limited resources. And you get to choose where they go.

We’ve been taught that being “responsible” means caring about everything equally. That a “good” professional, parent, or partner keeps all the plates spinning at once. But here’s the reality: some plates are made of glass, and some are made of paper. If a glass plate falls, like your health, your relationships, or your financial well-being, it shatters. But if a paper plate falls, like mismatched socks or unanswered emails, it might crumple, but nothing critical breaks.

Letting go doesn’t mean you’re lazy. It means you’re discerning. It means you recognize the difference between glass and paper.

Before you can let go, you need to identify what’s draining you unnecessarily. A few common leaks:

• Decision fatigue: agonizing over small choices like what to wear, what to eat, or which email greeting sounds most professional.
• Perfectionism: rewriting a text three times before sending it, or obsessing over formatting that no one else will notice.
• Unrealistic expectations: believing you must fold laundry immediately, keep a spotless kitchen, or attend every social event.
• Unnecessary battles: arguing over the “right” way to load the dishwasher, or stressing when someone else doesn’t do things your way.
• Obligation over alignment: saying yes to commitments that don’t align with your goals or values.

Each of these leaks pulls energy away from things that matter most.

A powerful way to practice letting go is to literally make a list. Write down everything that doesn’t deserve your attention anymore. This list will look different for everyone, but here are some examples:

Not every “thank you” needs a “you’re welcome.” Not every group announcement needs acknowledgment.

Towels folded a certain way, dishes stacked perfectly, beds made daily. If it’s not adding to your life, let it slide.

You can’t control what others think of your parenting, your career choices, or your messy garage. Their judgment doesn’t pay your bills or fuel your joy.

Rest isn’t wasted time. Rest is recovery. The guilt is optional.

If color-coded calendars or 5 a.m. routines don’t work for your brain, you don’t have to force them.

When you feel yourself spiraling into worry or over-focus, pause and ask:

• Does this truly matter to me or my values?
• Will this still matter tomorrow, next week, or next year?
• What am I giving up by spending energy here?
• If I let this go, what space does that free up?

If the answer is “not much,” or if holding onto it costs more than it gives, that’s your cue to release it.

Let’s get specific. Here are some everyday scenarios where letting go can free up enormous amounts of energy.

Stop spending 15 minutes deciding what to wear.
Let go of variety. Embrace a small rotation of “go-to outfits” that you know you like and feel comfortable in. No one notices as much as you think.

Not every message requires a novel-length response.
Let go of the belief that your emails or texts must be perfectly worded. A simple “Thanks!” or “Got it” is often enough.

Do you really need to dust the ceiling fan weekly?
Let go of over-maintenance. Focus on tasks that keep your space safe, sanitary, and functional. Everything else is optional.

Scrolling Instagram and feeling behind?
Let go of comparison as a measuring stick. Unfollow accounts that trigger shame. Curate your feed to inspire, not deplete.

That half-done craft, the book you feel guilty for not finishing, the course you signed up for and abandoned.
Let go of sunk costs. If it’s not serving you anymore, it’s okay to release it without finishing.

Being reachable 24/7 is exhausting.
Let go of the pressure to respond instantly. You are allowed to set boundaries around communication.

Letting go is a skill you can strengthen over time. Here are some ways to practice:

Sometimes we fear that if we let go, something important will slip. If that’s you, experiment with temporarily letting go. Try dropping one low-stakes task for a week and see what happens. For example:

• Don’t fold laundry, just sort it into bins by type or person.
• Don’t check email after 6 p.m.
• Don’t clean the car until next weekend.

Chances are, nothing catastrophic will happen. You’ll build trust in your ability to let go.

Letting go is less about doing nothing and more about doing less of what doesn’t matter, so you have more for what does. Imagine how much mental space you’d reclaim if you released even 10% of your current load.

Here are some reflection prompts to get you started:

• What’s one task I’ve been holding onto that no one would notice if I stopped?
• What expectation do I carry that doesn’t align with my values?
• Where am I over-investing energy for minimal return?
• What guilt can I release by choosing what matters most?

The art of letting go isn’t about lowering your standards. It’s about raising your awareness of what deserves your energy and what doesn’t.

You have only so much bandwidth. Every “yes” is also a “no.” By letting go of what doesn’t matter, you create room for the life you actually want. The energy you save becomes fuel for joy, connection, creativity, and growth.

So the next time you feel pulled in every direction, pause and ask yourself: Does this truly deserve my energy?

If the answer is no, give yourself permission to let it go.